Helping Individuals and Families Realize Their Potential
Problems and Issues Addressed in Therapy
"Family Group" by Henry Moore
My clients are successful individuals who want to enhance their personal effectiveness at home and at work. They understand that success requires focused effort, committment and time. Acting much like a coach, I help my clients establish and implement a PLAN to achieve their personal goals in the following 4 areas: (1) social skills & intimate relationships, (2) work, education & money management, (3) emotional and physical health and (4) recreation.
The following topics are among those most frequently addressed in therapy:
"Guarded" by Kristina Laurendi Havens www.studio81.biz
Depression and Anxiety
Self-esteem and Confidence Building. It is of central importance that we each accept ourselves fully, building on our strengths, while fully recognizing our limitations. Despite significant achievements and outward appearances to the contrary, many individuals secretly harbor the irrational belief that they are never quite good enough. My objective is to help my clients learn how to think positively and rationally about themselves and others. These are essential skills for those who want to be happy and successful in their career and relationships.
Positive, Rational Thinking: is essential for success in life. Positive thinking enables us to maintain hope and optimism, and to perform at peak levels, achieve results beyond the predictable, and maintain loving relationships. Depression (including normal grief) and Anxiety are often precipitated by a variety of stressors, obstacles and losses that may lead individuals to conclude they are unlovable, failures, unattractive, unlikely to find happiness and fulfillment, etc. My objective is to help my clients replace such pessimistic, self-critical views with more positive, affirming thoughts.
Responsible Assertion Training: transforms the meek, passive and fearful into confident, strong individuals who have the ability to handle most interpersonal conflicts, while preserving good relations and mutual respect in the process. Assertive action goes hand in hand with positive, rational thinking and effective communication.
Medication: Individuals with high levels of anxiety and depression frequently benefit from medications, which enable them to think more positively, take action and implement other essential coping strategies more effectively. Increasingly research indicates that a combination of medication and cognitive behavior therapy produces the best treatment results. I work closely with a number of primary care physicians and psychiatrists who can provide medication management, if this is needed.
Stress Management is something that virtually everyone needs today to maintain emotional and physical well-being. Depression, anxiety, insomnia, irritability, alcohol and drug abuse and psychosomatic problems (irritable bowel, headaches, back pain, etc.) are often symptoms of stress. I work with clients to ensure that they are getting proper exercise, eating foods that are healthy as well as tasty, sleeping soundly, minimizing their use of alcohol, cigarettes and other drugs, and enjoying their play time.
"Restrained" bronze by William Mulligan
Mid-Life Crises
Smoldering Dissatisfactions and Unmet Needs: While a Mid-life Crisis may seem to erupt suddenly out of nowhere, there are usually longstanding dissatisfactions and unmet needs in one or more of the following areas: career, love and sexual fulfillment, self-esteem, recreation, health and stress-management.
Reframing the word "Crisis": A Mid-Life "Crisis" can be viewed as a Mid-Life "Transition", a healthy and desirable period for readjustment and re-evaluation. Counseling can be viewed as a great opportunity to constructively address and resolve problems that have not been addressed before, and which will likely crop up again at some time in the future, possibly with destructive consequences, if they are not addressed now! Counseling provides an opportunity to redress imbalances and problems that have usually existed for years.
Infidelity: is one of the more painful and obvious signs of underlying unhappiness. Affairs usually result from long-term dissatisfaction with self, longstanding stress, unresolved marital conflicts and other psychiatric disorders (e.g., addictions, personality disorders, depression and bipolar disorder, etc.). Unfortunately, many couples (both husbands and wives) mistakenly focus on the affair as the central problem, when it usually is not. Affairs often serve as a catalyst, forcing couples to get professional help for problems that have gone unresolved.
A central focus of therapy is helping clients find passion and purpose in life, while maintaining BALANCE in work, family, recreation, health and community endeavors.
Spouses usually need considerable support and coaching on how to set limits assertively and lovingly in order to bring about necessary change while preserving their own well-being.
"Lovers" by Dick Kappel www.artsculpt.com
Marriage and Family
Premarital Counseling provides couples with information and specific skills. Areas reviewed include expectations of oneself and one's partner, communication and problem solving skills, families of origin and childhood experiences that continue to shape behavior today; differences between women (Venus) and men (Mars), getting off to a good start with your in-laws; setting priorities; providing support and nurturance to your partner; balancing individual, career and family needs.
Anger Management addresses conflict resolution and assertive communication skills; creative problem-solving and negotiation training; insecurities and inappropriate attempts to control one's partner; co-dependency and low self-esteem; alcohol and substance abuse.
Sexual Problems such as loss of desire, infidelity and performance difficulties are usually symptoms of emotional, relational and/or physiological problems. After taking a thorough history and recommending a medical evaluation from a physician, we will certainly want to address the following areas: expectations of oneself and one's partner, unresolved relationship conflicts, feelings of rejection, poor body image and low self-esteem; inhibitions, depression, anxiety and performance concerns; internet porn and other compulsive behaviors.
Effective Parenting requires a set of critical skills that are usually not taught in high school or college. All of us are challenged to bring out the best in our children, whether they are talented and gifted or exhibiting behavioral and emotional problems. My approach emphasizes the consistent use of praise, affection and concrete rewards, while setting clear limits and imposing appropriate consequences. We also examine mixed and conflicting messages given by parents, the challenges of blended families and children with special needs.
Financial Concerns resulting from unrecognized emotional problems, mismanagement of funds, conflicting priorities, compulsive spending and gambling are but a few threats to a couple's financial well-being.
Separation and Divorce is a choice of last resort. I encourage couples to exhaust every opportunity to save their marriages, before considering this drastic step. If divorce is the only solution, then steps can and should be taken to minimize hostilities, while preserving self-esteem and ensuring the children's needs are met.
"The Kiss" by Auguste Rodin
Single Adults
Self-esteem and Confidence Building: It is of central importance that we each accept ourselves fully: building on our strengths, while fully recognizing our limitations. Despite their many achievements and outward appearances, many people secretly harbor the irrational belief that they are not good enough. My objective is to help my clients learn how to think positively and rationally about themselves and others. These are essential skills if one hopes to be happy, as well as successful in career and relationships.
Training inAssertive Communication Skills helps clients learn how to express themselves fully and effectively, while respecting the rights of others; handle criticism and hostility from others, without becoming hostile or bitter in the process; ask for the things they want and say "no" if they do not wish to do something. Responsible assertive action and communication resides in that middle ground between hostility on the one hand and passivity on the other.
Meeting desirable members of the opposite sex: Overcoming fears and insecurities born out of past experiences. Recognizing the powerful influence of formative relationships with MOM and DAD. Are you attracted to the wrong kinds of men or women? Are you searching in all the wrong places, doing everything you can to meet someone, but turning up empty handed and wondering why?
Setting priorities: Coping with a bewildering array of temptations (drugs and alcohol) and conflicting pressures to be yourself, look good and give in sexually to attract others.
A Career You Are Passionate About: Are you finding fulfillment, purpose and satisfaction in your chosen occupation? Are you managing stress well and developing the people skills necessary to reach the highest levels of success in your career?
"A Prayer for the Children" by Diana Mendoza www.mendozafineart.com
Parenting Challenging Children
Few parents receive any formal training in Parenting Skills. As parents, we tend to do what our parents did with us, and they were not always the most "functional" role models.
At the same time, most parents (who have more than one child) understand that no two children are exactly the same. While some are talented angels, others challenge us with learning disabilities, ADD/ADHD, behavior problems, and periodic emotional meltdowns.
Our shared goal, in working with parents and children individually, is to enhance parent effectiveness, while building loving relationships and nurturing children so that they acquire the necessary social skills, self-discipline and self-respect.
